Please Have Your Passport, Boarding Card, and Breasts Ready for Inspection

Posted on November 22nd, 2010

Every day, the news of America’s ridiculous anti-terrorism policies get worse. First, was the famous “Don’t touch my junk,” incident where a male passenger was threatened by TSA agents for refusing to let them fondle him. Read his story here.

Terrorist

Next is the video making the rounds of the little boy without a shirt being “patted down” and how the guy who recorded the pathetic scene was then followed by TSA agents more worried about being caught on film harassing a little boy than keeping real terrorists off the plane. Not to be outdone, here are more brave TSA agents interrogating a three year old.

Now, there is the story of a breast cancer survivor who was told by the TSA to lift up her shirt so agents could check out her prosthetic breast.  I wrote a post last year that one day we would all have to strip before getting on an airplane. I meant it as a joke. I’m not sure it’s so funny anymore.

Terrorist #2

After consulting with his top “experts,” President Obama expressed sympathy with the public and reiterated that there was no other way to keep the friendly skies safe than by stripping down women and children and having the representatives of the State grope them.

After all, last year the underwear bomber almost brought down a plane. How else can we stop these people without searching in every crevice of the body?

Simple guys. Think about this. How many planes have been hijacked by ten year old boys and flight attendants who have survived cancer? Take a guess. How about… none?

Now — here is the part that many people don’t want to read. But please, it is for your own safety. Read it fast but please read it.

How many airplanes have been brought down by Islamic men traveling alone? The underwear bomber, the shoe bomber, and the 9/11 murderers all had something in common and guess what? It wasn’t fake breasts. They were all adherents of radical Islamic theology.

Yes, I know. Religion is a private matter and the State has no right to question people because of their faith. But how can one’s religious beliefs be more untouchable than one’s privates? Seems a little silly that after the passenger has been stripped down, fondled, and otherwise humiliated to refrain from asking about religious views for fear of causing offense.

Israel’s view of airport security is very straight forward. You can always hide a bomb, but hiding a bomber is much harder. Airport security agents are trained to ask all sorts of random questions because no matter what their cover stories, terrorists put on the spot always mess up. The agents do not care where I went to Hebrew school as a child, they do care if I get all flustered by the question.

Anyone of any religion or nationality can board a plane here. Some people just get asked more questions to make sure they are not hiding something.

At Ben Gurion, they do no strip, fondle, or take full body scans.  They look you in the eye and ask questions.

And you know what?

The terrorists don’t get on our planes.

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Comments

  1. Dennis Berman says:

    It is coming to this: All flights will have three planes – one with naked man, one with naked women, and the third with all the luggage. Then you will feel safe!!!

  2. Sarah says:

    Good one, Yarden! I haven’t flown recently, but I guess I’ll have to ask a shai’la before my next trip: Which yukky method. if any, is preferable halachichly?

  3. Yochanan says:

    While TSA, as required by the US administration, spends their time and effort covering their political behinds, Israeli airport security spends its time and effort identifying terrorists. No doubt about who to trust. Thanks Yarden!

  4. Eliezer says:

    When my mother came into Israel last, she was a bit surprised when after telling the Israeli security that she is a morah, they proceded to ask her what holiday is coming up, which Chanukah, and then they asked her, can you tell me the story about it. She asked “Do you want the 3 year old version”.