Gotta Song in My Head

Posted on April 30th, 2012

(Oooh la la la…)

Want to get in my head?

Usually not advisable, but today, at least for a little while, come on in.

(Na na na na na)

I know there’s a song playing in there now. So let me turn it down for a sec just to fill you in on what’s going on.

According to the Doctor, the only thing not normal today about Stella is her husband (yours truly :) The data suggests that the cancer is either completely destroyed or is present in such small amounts as to not give us trouble for a very long time. While me must remain vigilant and follow up with scans and other stuff, she is in a completely different situation than a year ago when tests showed a “belly full of disease.”

Of course, in answer to the unanswerable question, long term survival will be proven not by statistical predictions, but by…. well, by long term survival. We are “outside the box” as far as stomach cancer is concerned. And that’s where we hope to stay.

We have no further chemo scheduled.

We do have our previous lives scheduled.

Now the truth of the matter is that cancer is not like a football game. The Giants won the Super Bowl. Time ran out and they had more points. ‘Game Over” is what we like to say. I would love to say that to the last remaining cancer cell as we boot him off the field.

But cancer is never really over. You must live with uncertainty. But it’s the word “live” that we will focus on rather than the word “uncertainty.”

I really don’t have more to say right now because I am getting choked up just writing this.

I think of how bad it got. I think of the real and psychological terror we have lived through.

I remember so many terrible moments so clearly.

Whenever you think you have it bad, just imagine gently trying to shave your wife’s head because the chemo is making her lose her hair all over the house and it’s freeking the kids out.

And that’s just one of the horrible memories I will never forget.

BUT,

BUT, now more than ever, I understand some other things.

Every day the sun rises is as important as all of human history. We can all — every one of us — worry about the future. And we can tie ourselves all up in knots just thinking about it. And it wouldn’t do us any good at all.

Or we can LIVE.

We can find beauty in a sunrise, or the smile of a child, or the wag of a dog’s tail.

We can go for a hard run in the cold air and feel our bodies come alive as our hearts pound and the kilometers seem to fall away.

Instead of complaining about whatever the “Matsav” is, we could truly try and understand what a miracle our lives are, every single day.

And we can truly value friendships.

We all can — and do — take friendships for granted. It’s hard to really understand the importance of friendships.

But if you think about it, friendships are worth more than the biggest lottery every won. When the world turns dark, they are our lights. When we are blinded by pain, they are our guides.

So to all our friends (including some we may have never met) — thank you for standing by us.

And one last thing. I think I could justifiably not believe in G-D after this ordeal. Or I could be bitter and hate G-d.

But I don’t. I may not come anywhere near understanding G-d, but I at least know that he does listen.

And that miracles still happen.

(Dum de dum de dum)

And now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to turn the music in my head back to full volume.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Rafi G. says:

    fabulous! amazing. i am so happy! now you can get back to running seriously and trying to break world records!

  2. Reuven says:

    Great News!!

  3. Greg Neilsen says:

    Great News!!!! Great way to start the week.

  4. Dassi says:

    This is beautiful news. We are singing right along with you. And Stella, don’t forget, we have a date at Eli’s bar mitzvah two weeks before Rosh Hashanah in 12 1/2 years. I can’t wait to dance with you.
    Love, Dassi and Dan

  5. Maryanna Walls says:

    BARUCH HASHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. kira says:

    So happy for you – and know that in your moments of uncertainty (hopefully briefer and fewer with each passing month/year) you definitely have friends to literally or virtually hold you in your time of weakness.

  7. I honestly believe that the two of us before the appointment saying tehillim for Zakkai had an impact.

  8. Moishe Lewack says:

    Wow! Pam and I are so happy for you! May the only news both of you provide be filled with great health, joy, enthusiasm and simchas.

  9. Rev. Rock says:

    “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you . I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great troubles, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fires of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God. The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
    Isiah 43:1-2

    We are absolutely elated to hear the wonderful news that cancer has been defeated and that Stella’s body can begin to heal from all that its been through these past months. May God in His mercy continue to bless the Frankl family as they begin picking up the pieces of their lives and return to some sense of normalcy.

    Rev. Rocky & Carol & Cameron,
    Drumright, U.S.A…………………

  10. Cindy Zitelman says:

    Amazing! So Happy For The Entire Frankl Family.

  11. Amos says:

    זה היום עשה ה’ נגילה ונשמחה בו!!!!!!

  12. Emily says:

    I know the feeling very well. It’s indescribable :-) Enjoy every second of it and while you need to stay on top of checkups etc, there is nothing like walking into a chemo ward as a “survivor!”

  13. Tammy Berman says:

    NANANANA NANANANA hey hey goodbye.

    Yasher Koach!! Way to GO! I am so happy. YOu have made my day, week and month. Hashem really loves you!!!

  14. Rachelle says:

    :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

  15. Stephanie Frumkin says:

    So great to hear the news! Stella, may you live a long and healthy life to 120!

  16. Ruth Baars says:

    Now this was happy news to cry over. Thanks for sharing your amazing news. We are smiling!

  17. Melody Hartuv says:

    Baruch Hashem! See, we’re doing the happy dance down the road. Stella, may you live to be at least 120 with health and happiness. So, are you guys coming for a picnic?

  18. Ima2seven says:

    Crying with joy. So happy for you and your family!!!

  19. Jill Shames says:

    How beautiful to read these words! What a miracle…and what a treasure to share your joy and your salvation. Thank you(and thank you too, Alm-ghty) for answering so many, many prayers.

  20. Sarah says:

    Yesterday I was crying tears of sadness at the funeral of Rabbi Lenny Dickstein, our friend of 42 years. Boruch Dayan Emes. Today I am crying tears of joy for your wonderful news. Boruch Hashem! May Stella enjoy many healthy, happy years together with you and your children, ’til 120.

  21. Reva & Levy Van Leeuwen says:

    B”H, we are thrilled to read this great news! Yarden and Stella, may Hashem grant you long and healthy lives together with your sweet family and many many friends! Reva & Levy

  22. elana says:

    It mada me so happy to read your last post. I am loking foward to recieving many normal posts from now on. BAruch Hashem. Much joy

  23. Lori and Eric Solat says:

    So happy to hear the wonderful news today! B’H!! We have all been davening for you Stella and thinking of you and hoping for this day! Looking forward to celebrating with you at the upcoming Bat Mitzvah!!

  24. susan eklove says:

    Baruch Hashem!!!! Pu Pu Pu, I am so happy! May you grow old together and see your grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great granchildren–

    Love and Best wishes and brachot,
    Susan

  25. Jonny K says:

    Mazaltov! Fantastic news! May you and your family enjoy many happy healthy years together.

  26. jeannette says:

    I am so Happy to hear the good news, now may you all enjoy every day that god gives you!

  27. Vivian First says:

    When I tuned into the Frankl Matsav, there was so much heartache. After the high of your Aliyah story, I was unprepared for the blow. I am incredibly happy to have followed your journey to this beautiful moment. Ad 120! Now run for the sheer enjoyment and not for the distraction of exersion. What a wonderful gift you have given us all.

  28. Joshua Frankl says:

    FANTASTIC!!!!

  29. Moshe Feldman says:

    Yarden,

    I am so happy for you and Stella! May you continue to expand the wisdom that you have gained through this ordeal and enjoy many happy years with Stella.

  30. Adina says:

    Wow coach, that is wonderful to hear! I am so happy!
    Regards to the family.
    -Adina

  31. Ruthie Benamou says:

    wow, what wonderful news!!! הודו לה’ כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו. thanks for sharing with all of us!

  32. Iris says:

    Wow!! What wonderful news–we biked a “stella-thon” today–26 miles in the countryside near Cumberland–talking throughout the ride about how happy we were for Stella (and you) . We are all singing–can you hear us from here? Thanks for the terrific post.

  33. steven wolinsky says:

    This is GREAT news!!! We hope you only have this kind of happy news “ad mayuh ve’esrim”.

  34. Robin Stoler, Rick Stein & Families says:

    BARUCH HASHEM! May you continue to go from Strength to Strength – Chayil L’Chayil…Eshet Chayil! And May Hashem continue to watch over and bless you and your family and all of Israel!

  35. Phyllis and Harold says:

    Beautiful! We’ve been waiting and praying for this news! Looking forward to seeing that wonderful smile in person in a few weeks.

  36. Hindy Bogner-Orenstein says:

    Here’s to Stella!!! Lechaim! and to the words of Tehillim perek 28! Much love and many blessings to you and your family- always and in all ways! Hindy and Julian

  37. BARUCH HASHEM!!!!!!!! HALLELUYAH!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!! TODA LA’EL!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!

  38. Jill Smudski says:

    Happy, Happy, Happy! Thank you, Hashem. Can’t wait to see you both!

  39. donna zeff says:

    That was not only a beautifully written essay, but amazingly wonderful news. Of course we all live with uncertainty, and that uncertainty makes us ignore the dog’s wagging tail and our child’s smile. The beauty of faith, that you so incredibly described here, is letting go of the uncertainty and living in the moment, and understanding most things in life are simply not in our hands. Then we can focus on the precious few things that are. May all your prayers be answered, and may you go from strength to strength, always!!

  40. Talia Cohen says:

    What a beautiful email. Much love to you and Stella and the kids. Talia and Hagay Cohen (your neighbors on Greenleaf)

  41. Ruth says:

    Baruch Hashem. I have davened for Stella for a long time and it seems that Hashem heard our prayers and answered in the positive.
    May you have many more cancer-free years, the whole family.
    Fondly, Michael and Ruth Novice

  42. Tova Rubenstein says:

    WOW!!!!הודו ל’ה כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו

    Are we going to have a party in ND or what!!!!

    Tova and Yitzchak

  43. Sharon says:

    So absolutely happy for you, Stella!!!!! And happy for Yarden and your children!!!!!!

    May G-d continue to send you all nothing but blessings!!!!!!!!!

    Love & hugs!!!
    Sharon

  44. Alberta says:

    The Rosary group at St. Mary’;s in Katonah – who have been praying for Stella each week – were aghast at the news! – jaws dropped and we all knelt in prayerful thanksgiving – and will continue to express thanks for this miracle of healing! – may we always see those beautiful smiles!!!!! love and hugs from Alberta

  45. Moshe Torem says:

    We share your joy. We pray for continued good health.
    We’ll continue our tehilim. Good medicine and no side effects.
    L’chaim!
    Leah and Moshe Torem, Sde Eliyahu

  46. Mona Atkinson says:

    Really great news!! Wow, this website is going to get a total overhaul isn’t it?! Really happy for your whole family!

  47. Kiwi Noa says:

    Wooo Hooo! That is good news. Shabbat Shalom!

  48. Miriam says:

    Baruch Hashem! I have been following Stella progress through the blogs that Ruti Mizrachi has written. This has to be the all time best blog I have ever read. I’m so happy for your family. May The Hand of Hashem continue to watch over Stella and her doctor’s be His messenger.

    Shabbat Shalom
    Miriam

  49. Batsheva says:

    Good news for all! May Hashem continue blessing you and keeping you safe from all harm. After 120 years, may you find out the reason for your tzarus and may you rejoice in knowing that you overcame it.
    Batsheva, Baltimore, MD

  50. Suzanne says:

    Yarden – how can you even write that you could be angry at Hashem??? You got a huge wake-up call, and you heeded it! You davened, you begged others to do the same; you shared stories of miracles; and you believed in them. HaShem heard all this and answered in the affirmative. You and your family are truly blessed – now the hard work is to keep up that level of emunah in “regular” life

  51. Ruth says:

    yipee ya yay yahoo and babalooooo! Excuse me while i get up and do a happy dance! Thank you HaShem for answering everyone’s prayer and thank you Jordan for delivering the good news and thank you Stella for being such a light in this world and showing us all how to fight the holy wars we find ourselves in.

  52. Karen says:

    Please tell your wife that she’s made me believe in miracles. I know I’m supposed to believe in them, but now I do, and I’ve heard two other stories from people I know personally who are just not supposed to be here, but they are (and completely fine). And being that I could use one, it’s a great thing to see.

    I know, I know, it COULD come back. We could all be diagnosed with something or get hit by a bus tomorrow. Go on with your lives and I hope to hear about other things on the blog soon.