The Voice from the Hills

Posted on December 2nd, 2013

me2Amazing what a night’s sleep (even if medicated) can do for you.

That and a good run.

I ran today.

I ran the length of Ein Bokek and then some. Twelve kilometers at a fast — at least for me — pace.

In Ein Bokek, you run by ancient stony mountains that have stood over the Dead Sea for thousands of years.

And from these mountains, I heard — no I felt — Stella’s presence.

I felt that she is now much, much more than she ever was on Earth. She has become eternal, like the stones on the hills. She is in the rocks, and the hills, and the sea, and the sky. And she is with me.

All the time I was running, I felt her comforting me, telling me that things would be all right. Different, but all right.

I don’t know the biology behind it, but running can change your entire mood, your entire outlook. Just me, the road, and those old desert mountains. It felt like nothing else existed.

And Stella assured me about one thing — a simple fact that had escaped me somehow until now — I no longer have to take care of her. All those hospital visits, blood tests, injections, discussions with the doctors, pharmacy runs, and everything else is no longer necessary. (ok, G, you HAD told me this this morning, but it didn’t sink in until my run.)

I can do it. When she was alive I felt I could slay dragons for her. And now that she is no longer here, why can’t I just keep slaying those dragons? Sure the road ahead will be hard. But that’s never stopped me before. I ran a half marathon one year, then later switched to full marathons, then to ultra-marathons and epic bike rides.

It wasn’t my choice — by far — to be in this race. But I’m here.

So what the F*k, bring it on.

Yarden Frankl, Ein Bokek

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Comments

  1. carla friedman says:

    Good to hear…..She is always with you especially in the hills and landscape of Israel. (:

  2. Rachel Stern says:

    This made me laugh. And now — she is slaying dragons for you!

  3. Linda Dempster says:

    Good for you I knew she would come thru to you! & she will continue! You can’t see her but she can see you! & she is your angel watching over all of you now! Bless you all!

  4. Bill Landau says:

    Made me cry. Glad to hear this. May days like today vastly outnumber days like yesterday. There will, unfortunately, still be days like yesterday. Luckily, you can get out and run. Run, Yarden, run….

  5. Haya says:

    You are a champ
    Always making us feel so good yt again and a gain for your strength
    You are a rock …

  6. Karen Eisenberg says:

    So good to hear you talking this way. Of course there will still be tough times, but it sounds like you’ve turned a corner. As you told the kids at the levaya, Mommy will always be with them and that they can talk to her and get access to her love and wisdom. The same is true with you. She used to be a tiny person who was in one physical place. Now, she is no longer limited in that way. Maybe that’s why she took the name “Hashem’s rock.” She’s part of eternity now. And that means that you will never be away from her again.

  7. Laurie Cohen says:

    So glad you had a great day. I hope this continues for a long time. I’m sure there will be setbacks, but you will have your kids—part of her– with you always. And all your friends and family are rooting for you.

  8. Paul Goldstein says:

    Karen Eisenberg said so well what I was thinking

  9. Carol Ginsberg says:

    Yarden, you always manage to help other
    people to “slay their own dragons.” Thank you.

  10. Hana says:

    Excellent. You’re in the zone now. Glad you’ve opened up and are now able to hear her at last. She will always be there for you. 🙂 Keep running and charging at those dragons!