We can wait

I acknowledge ahead of time that many of my neighbors will disagree with me. But the fact is, public opinion among “settlers” is not and has never been represented by one or two shrill voices. So while many are gearing up to fight the settlement freeze temporary lull in initiating certain residential construction, I think the energy could be put to better use.

I don’t feel this way because I think that a slight delay in building Jewish homes is either just or will bring about peace. No, it is clear to everyone (except maybe the White House) that the lack of peace in the Middle East has nothing to do with settlements and everything to do with Arab intransigence. And that’s the point.

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Take a "shot" at us, please

What do you do when someone who wants you dead gets sick? What would most reasonable people do?

Let me rephrase. Let’s say that the United States faced a serious terrorist threat on its Southern border. Let’s also say that the Mexican government was not taking any action to stop the terrorists from launching missiles at Austin, Texas.

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I swim in a pool five minutes from my house several times a week. I enjoy swimming and include it as part of my workouts that will hopefully lead me to an Iron Man competition. Yet now, Amnesty International says that I really have no right to swim because my Palestinian neighbors can’t drink. As part of the Evil Occupation Force, I am automatically assumed to be a violator of Palestinian human rights – especially when I swim.

So the question is: Should I feel guilty that I use more water than an average Palestinian? While Amnesty International just published a report claiming that I should, they left out a few inconvenient facts from their manifesto:

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If she can't join why would I want to?

My mother used to tell me of a country club in Cardiff, Wales where she grew up that had a sign at the entrance “No Dogs or Jews.”

Sounds shocking when you think that: 1) As part of the UK, Wales was on our side in the war, and 2) How can people feel so free to express such racist beliefs in public. I’m sure glad that was so many years ago. No civilized people would dare express such notions in today’s enlightened world, right?

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Won it without even trying!

By now of course, you have heard the news that I have been awarded the Olympic Gold medal in cycling. For a long time I was worried that I would never win it, especially considering that I am not actually a world class bike racer. Apparently, we now live in an age where actual accomplishments are no longer a determining factor in receiving even the highest public honors.

The committee that awarded me the gold medal said that while I did not really win any bike races, there was an unanimous feeling that I have done a “great deal to create conditions for the winning of bike races.”

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