Of my six marathons, this year’s Jerusalem run was by far my favorite.

It was the coldest.

It was the wettest.

None of the others had gale force winds and, yes, several hail showers.

Yet despite the extreme weather, I can honestly say that I had a blast.

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Today’s chemo appointment was postponed. That’s not good, not bad.

It just is.

But since Stella will not be dealing with the side effects tomorrow morning, I have decided to run the full 42.2 kilometer Jerusalem Marathon.

Yeah. I know.

It’s freezing, raining, and the wind is just howling outside my window.

But you know something?

Who the hell cares that the weather is a bit unpleasant.

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I know, I know.

I have not written in a couple of weeks.

Actually, that’s not true. I have written a number of posts since Stella got home from the hospital last month.

It’s just that right before I am about to hit the “send” button, I re-read the posts and decided not to send them. They were not the right “message” that I wanted to share.

It’s not a big deal. I don’t think that any of you would find what I wrote surprising.

For example, I wrote (and then deleted) a post called “Unexpected Pain.”

Essentially it was about how we had gone to bed one night and the next morning found ourselves on the way to the Emergency Room (and a week-long hospital stay) because Stella had very serious pain that seemed to come out of nowhere and surprised us both.

But the post was also about how I had gone to the wedding of a close friend’s daughter. Stella was not feeling well enough to attend so I went solo. Everything was fine until one moment, while watching the ceremony when I felt a sudden emotional pain well up out of nowhere. I guess being in an emotional environment like that without my wife just triggered something. I had to excuse myself  run away and sit outside for awhile trying to get a grip. Which, of course, I did and then could go hang out again with my friends.

See, no big deal, but not really worthy of a whole depressing blog post.

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I was riding with some friends one time in the desert on a challenging and beautiful path. At times the path narrowed into a tiny ridge that curved around the desert cliffs with about the width of my handlebars. Scary but also exhilarating. I am comfortable with that sort of riding. As long as the trail is uphill or flat, I can manage the terrain without worry.

Downhill technical riding is something else. This is when you ride down steep paths that were never really designed for bike riding. When I start down a tech section, I am usually freeking out and just hope I can get to the bottom in one piece. Every now and then you have a drop. A drop is a ledge that you ride off of and then both you and your bike fall to the ground. If you are lucky, you fall together and land together and continue riding as if that was all part of the plan.

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When you ask me how Stella is doing, I might answer you.

Or I might turn my back on you and scurry away.

Either way, you will have my answer.

So now I probably confused everyone.

Didn’t Stella have the miracle operation? What happened to “She will be cured, she will be cured……(breathe)?”

Yes, that IS still the hope. But it’s a bit more complicated than that. Let me explain.

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