Crossing the Yarden

By Yarden Frankl

Labor, Likud, or Falafel

I am very excited. In just a couple of months, I will get to vote in an Israeli election. I will finally be part of the process of determining the future direction of the State of Israel.

In America, there are usually two normal people and a bunch of lunatics running for President. Tempting as it always is to vote for the guy who runs on the platform on substituting bricks of gold for dollars, in the end, you decide which of the two millionaires looks better in a blue suit and cast your vote accordingly.

Very few people in Israel wear blue suits, and the politicians who do look awful in them. So I may have to vote here based on the actual positions of the parties. So after doing exhaustive research, here is what I came up with:

Let's start in what is referred to as the political "center" although a more accurate term would be the political "Radical Extreme Left Wing Until Two Years Ago." The two traditionally largest parties are Labor and Likud. The Labor Party believes that Israel will achieve peace if it gives the Arabs all the territories. The Likud Party believes that Israel will achieve peace by not giving the Arabs all the territories…unless they do. Since these agendas are obviously so different, we now have a third party, Kadima. As opposed to Labor and Likud, Kadima's focus seems to be on giving the Arabs most of the territories, and maybe all of them.

While not "Centrist Until Recently Radical Extreme Left-Wing," the National Religious Party has adopted a somewhat vague position. According to their official party platform (as told to me by a guy on a bus), their agenda is to "not give any land at all to the Arabs under any conditions whatsoever. Unless...." (He had to get off the bus before he could finish the sentence.)

Of course, if the vast differences in the platforms of the three "Centrist – Until Recently Radical Extreme Left-Wing" parties is not enough, we also have admittedly "non-centrist" parties. As far as I can tell, the Meeretz Party believes in giving the Arabs all the territories over the Green Line, most of the territories inside the Green Line, and perhaps a state or two from the U.S. On the other side, the National Union is interested in giving away most of the Arabs rather than giving away most of the land.

Shas and United Torah Judaism have focused on retaining territory, most of which has Yeshivas on it.

So how does an Israeli vote? Here is a sampling of voters' thoughts, overheard while in line for Falafel: (On an interesting note, "Falafel" came in third in the latest voter preference poll.)

Please vote for Likud. I pray that they win. Otherwise it will be a complete disaster for the country. Of course, I myself am not voting for them because I don't trust them.

I don't really agree with the National Union's positions. But I will vote for them because they will carry them out.

I am voting for Shas just to tick everyone off!

I am not religious, but I will vote for the Rabbi who gave me a charm bracelet.

I want to teach Likud a lesson, so I will vote for Labor.

So there you have it. It is a bit confusing, but I myself am leaning towards the "Falafel" party.

Shabbat Shalom from our blessed nation.

© 2006 Yarden Frankl