Crossing the Yarden

By Yarden Frankl

War and Lice

I was going to write a column this week about the current "cease-fire" between Israel and….. no one. I mean is it just me, or is there something strange with the fact that we have been hit by over a dozen rockets during this "cease-fire?" Am I missing something in understanding a situation in which the IDF keeps nabbing Palestinians wearing the latest combinations of high explosives and fashion while we adhere to a "cease-fire?" Maybe we are just running out of bullets? I saw a headline the other day that Hamas is threatening to break the cease-fire that they are not participating in. Eh? If anyone figured that one out can you call me?

I know sometimes when I force my kids to have a "cease-fire" someone always wants to get in the last smack. But at least my kids are bright enough not to just sit there smiling and saying everything is all right while getting pummeled. (I take that back, my kids never fight, really!)

So I could write a very serious, heavy article deriding the government for corruption, cowardice and risking the fate of our nation on nonsensical policies.

But I think it would be more fun to write about…lice!

In the States, lice are considered something almost as dangerous as plutonium. The poor child who is found to have lice, or even suspected of hosting some activity in their hair, is treated with the utmost discretion and sensitivity—they are immediately thrown out of school.

The child is then treated as if they have a mild case of bubonic plague. One friend told me that she once got a call from her daughter's school saying, "We think your daughter may have had some lice, but we got it all. Please come and pick her up.& When she asked why she needed to pick the kid up if the potential lice had already been removed, the school was astonished. After all, people don't spend about $15,000 each year to have their children attend school with bug infested classmates, right?

We have enough worries in Israel without having to go crazy about this problem. O.k., so it does take most of us Olim a little while to understand that a) almost everyone in Israel will get lice at one point (or many points) and, b) so what.

Another friend here in Israel works in a gan and told me the other day a parent dropped off her kid saying, "She does have lice, but I think I got most of them. Have a nice day." The kid came and played. No one died.

Yes I know they are gross and annoying, and did make it into the top ten plague list; but still, they are little bugs.

I am much more concerned by a government that tries to make peace without the consent of its enemies than by a few bugs in the hair. I worry when the ugly president of a country speaks about wiping out Israel and then claims his oil engorged nation is simply seeking to develop nuclear power as an alterative energy source. I feel a little more anxious when I drive to Jerusalem and have to go by the future border crossing between where I live and the rest of my country. Is that a big hint Mr. Olmert?

Got lice? Ain baya my friend, ain baya.

Shabbat Shalom from our blessed nation.

© 2006 Yarden Frankl