I felt completely helpless and so I tried a few times to find some optimistic things to tell you, her Army, and I just couldn’t. I fell asleep with my laptop open on my pillow filled with sad words.

BUT — around 4:00 AM I woke up and checked my e-mail and saw a message from a friend who had spent the night with Stella at the hospital. And that message instantly lifted my mood. I want to share a portion with you:

My hours with Stella today were better than I expected.  She seemed to improve over the course or the evening, sat in the chair twice for about 20 minutes each time, used her spirometer fairly regularly and was happy to receive frequent leg and foot massages. We had numerous short, verbal exchanges and she smiled quite a number of times.

She was in and out of the bed for prolonged periods of time and with little help, shifting positions, and trying to sleep- all with no extra pain coverage. She told me a few times that she’s not in that much discomfort, and while yes, she is still getting a baseline drip and has the epidural, I firmly believe she is being STOIC STELLA. Just the NG tube alone is pretty horrible and did not hear her utter one word of complaint the entire time I was there. Hmph.

As expected, Stella is very determined to get through this and is taking like a warrior. I think Stella will be feeling much better once the tubes start coming out and her body starts to recover from the shock of surgery.

I am back with her this morning and the change since yesterday is dramatic. She has her “game face” on and fully accepts that she has to do some things that are not so comfortable to get better. We just took a walk in the hallway together, with the nurses all giving us big smiles as we walked by. If we could bottle her determination, we could all be Olympic Champions.

Her foot is smiling

She is not yet up to e-mailing, but after this post I am going to read her some of the e-mails and Facebook Posts, so don’t hesitate to write. She is also not up to visitors. Sorry but she would rather see you all when she can have normal conversations and not have tubes sticking out of her. She did not want me to take a regular picture so you will have to make do with the stunning portrait on the right until she feels more herself.

Chesed Meals

Now, I want to explain something that is very important to me.

As many of you are aware, I have decided not to request Chesed meals from the Yishuv at this time. This is not, G-d forbid, that I don’t appreciate everyone’s strong desire to help us. Knowing that so many people care and want to help has played a major role in getting us this far. So don’t think that we take for granted all the offers.

BUT — I do not want my children to think of themselves as helpless victims. I want them all to know that they have the ability to step up and help the family. My kids can make a pot of pasta as well as anyone. But doing so is very empowering. I would rather eat something that one of my kids made for me that may be a tad overcooked or bland than the best gourmet meals on the planet. Sure, we do have days when we can’t manage it. But isn’t that what pizza and burgers are for?

I do not want to dismiss all of your offers out of hand because there IS something you can do to help (and it may even include chesed meals.)

I need to embarrass our closest friends to tell you this, but I see no other way to go about it.  So here goes.

Stella and I have known Josh and Romi Sussman for years. We lived across the street from each other in Potomac, have had similar spiritual journeys, raised kids together, and talked about, planned, and eventualy made Aliya to the same place. We have spent countless Shabbat meals together, just joking around.

But while friendships during good times are fun, it’s during not so good times when you really need them.

From the day that Stella first went to the emergency room, they have been supporting our every need. They have sat with us in the Doctor’s office when we were told that Stella had almost no chance, and they were there when we were told that she did indeed have a chance. I encourage you to read Romi’s account of those days.

Why am I telling you this? Because unlike us, the Sussmans do have little kids at home, lots of them (dozens I think.)  They work, take care of their kids, and have somehow found a way to be here for us physically, emotionally and any other sort of way you can think of.

So if I do have a request for you it is this. If they need it, help the Sussmans out. They may need someone to pick a kid up or watch kids at night. They may come back from shlepping me around exhausted and emotionally drained and don’t want to cook. Instead of filling our freezer with meals that we may never get around to eating, call them and ask if you can make them a meal.

I know it may feel better to cook a meal for a family going  through a crisis, but we need the Sussmans to be taken care of so that they can take care of us. (Just make sure to e-mail them so that their actual needs can be met.) Stella and I would feel especially grateful if you did so.

As always, thank you for your time, your prayers, and your love.

Since everyone is asking, let me just conclude by telling you that the surgery was the most “radical” option. They removed Stella’s stomach, spleen, gall bladder, and a bunch of other stuff. They also took out a few pints of melted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

Yarden Frankl, Sha’ari Zedek, Jerusalem

If she can't join why would I want to?

My mother used to tell me of a country club in Cardiff, Wales where she grew up that had a sign at the entrance “No Dogs or Jews.”

Sounds shocking when you think that: 1) As part of the UK, Wales was on our side in the war, and 2) How can people feel so free to express such racist beliefs in public. I’m sure glad that was so many years ago. No civilized people would dare express such notions in today’s enlightened world, right?

Wrong. While we have all been fixated on the bizarre news story of President Obama being named Nobel Peace Prize winner, the Pope, and Time Magazine’s “Man of the Universe,” another incredible news story has been happening, not nearly as amusing.

Rocks collected in advance for "spontaneous" riots

Over the last two weeks, the Palestinians have thrown stones and pleaded with the International Community to stop the Jews on the Temple Mount.

What exactly are they terrified that the Jews will do on the Mount? Are they worried that the Jews will attack the Muslim worshipers there? Did the Jews bring bulldozers with them to demolish the places the Muslims claim as sacred on the Mount?

No, the Jews have done none of those things. The crimes of the Jews are astonishing. First, Jews want to visit their holiest site and this by itself is an outrage. Even worse, Palestinians claimed that some Jews were planning to… get this… PRAY… on the sacred spot.

Yes, there was great fear that devout Jews might actually look to heaven and silently move their lips while standing by Judaism’s holiest spot.  Could you imagine such a provocation? It’s no wonder that all sorts of world leaders urgently requested that Israel calm the situation down. Please Israel — stop those Jews from praying already. Jews praying? What could that lead to?

Quick, stop him before he prays again

For those who are a bit confused, let me give a brief explanation. The Temple Mount is the location where the ancient Jewish temples once stood. For 2,000 years, Jews are supposed to face this area when they pray — wherever in the world they may be at the time. It is the spot where the ancient teachings of Judaism say that Abraham was to sacrifice his son Yitzhak only to be stopped by the hand of G-d.

The Muslims also revere the site and it is considered the most holy, second most holy, third holiest place in Islam. Thousands of Muslims go up to the Temple Mount and pray five times a day. They reverently turn their backs on their sacred “Dome of the Rock” so that they will be able to face Mecca in Saudi Arabia as they offer modest prayers for Islamic rule over the entire world peace.

For much of history, Jews were barred from going to the site. Then, in 1967, the Mount was liberated by the Israeli Defense Forces. Despite having military control, it was decided that the Islamic authorities should administer the spot. At different times Jews have either been prohibited or severely limited from visiting the Mount.  Israeli law now backs the prohibitions of Jewish prayer or the carrying of any Jewish religious items like tefillin. All done in the name of not upsetting the Muslims.

Jews face the holy place in prayer, Muslims moon it

So today, we have the bizarre situation in which tens of thousands of Muslim worshipers can scream their prayers out loud and knock their heads against the ground five times a day, but a single Jew moving his lips will be promptly escorted out of the area.

The Palestinians claim that the mere presence of religious Jews on the Mount is a provocation. Seems to me it as much of a provocation as when a woman named Rosa Parks sat in a “whites only” seat on the bus in Alabama a few decades ago. (Yes BA, if you are reading that was for you.)

In their own words:

“No one has rights to the Al-Aqsa Mosque other than the Muslims. The mosque compound is Muslim, Palestinian and Arab, and Israel has no rights to the mosque or East Jerusalem.” – Islamic Movement Head Sheikh Ra’ad Salah.

Meanwhile the ultra-right wing government of Benjamin Netanyahu is doing whatever it can to allow the Muslim racists worshipers to continue to throw stones at Jews pray on the Mount while trying to keep the situation Jew free calm.

In the interests of peace, why can't Jews pray too?

All those who believe in justice, equality, and religious freedom must speak up against the restrictions on Jews and Jewish prayer in the heart of Jerusalem. It would only be fitting if the first leader to raise his voice would be the recently honored Nobel Peace Prize winner.

If you don’t speak up against racism, you are as guilty as the racists.